When it comes to dynamics between single men and women, there is one tale that is as old as time. It goes something like this:
Boy meets girl. Boy buys girl many alcoholic beverages. Girl goes back to boy’s apartment. Boy initiates sex. Girl tells boy she doesn’t usually do this. Boy and girl hook up. Boy says he’ll call. Girl waits for boy’s call. Boy does not call. Girl becomes obsessed.
If you are female, you can probably relate-or know some other girl who can relate-to the tortures of never hearing from a guy you really liked and were intimate with. As women subject to the influence of oxytocin, we are susceptible to certain things. For instance:
We become obsessed. We toss and turn at night and replay conversations in our head—trying to figure out what went wrong. We wonder why he hasn’t called. We wonder if he doesn’t like us. We wonder if he noticed our cellulite, if we were not good enough in bed, if he’s actually married, or If he’s laying in a ditch somewhere. Suddenly, getting closure, getting him back, getting him to answer our phone call becomes the most important thing.
If you hooked up with someone you really liked only to have him vanish after the act don’t worry you aren’t alone. If you went a little crazy after, you are in good company! This stuff happens to women every day. You can beat your obsessions with these two simple tips:
Get a life.
The more chances you have to meet like-minded people; the more you will stop obsessing about one man. If you don’t have hobbies, explore what sounds interesting, and do things you may enjoy. Get out there and see what interests you most. Take a class, learn a language, sign-up for a seminar, join a club, play in on a team, go on a retreat, volunteer, or join gym, etc. Getting a life may also mean reconnecting with people from your past who you lost touch with. Call up a relative or old friend, write a letter to an old classmate, or put up a profile on a social networking site. Make sure you get into some type of routine and fill your days with meaningful activities. Read all the books you meant to read, make the home repairs you have been putting off, or even go to the darn dentist. Do whatever you could so you are not bored and your mind is not idle. An idle mind can take you to new heights of obsession. It is best to leave no stone left unturned when an obsessive mood strikes. Keep it moving!
Try online dating.
Online dating is great for many things. Ditching your obsession over a man is one of them! No matter whom you are, no matter what you look like, no matter where you live, and no matter what you are interested in, you can meet someone on the Internet. There is truly a site for everyone! If you are obsessing over a man, attempting to meet several someone(s) online could be your miracle cure! Sign up for as many free and/or paid sites as your heart desires, write up a short but sweet profile with some cute photos, a catchy headline, and an intriguing comment or two, and you’ll set yourself up for getting more messages than you could possibly answer! If you know who you truly are and can communicate it online, others will too—and your choice of men with the click of a mouse! Niche sites may seem limiting, but they are actually good for increasing your chances of connecting with compatible partners. The truth is, there is no better way to stop obsessing over one man than to find another man to obsess about.
Bottom line: Keeping yourself active both on and offline is the secret to overcoming your obsessive feelings for a guy who got away. Stay positive: There are plenty of fish in the sea. He’s just one guy. There are plenty of other guys to obsess over.
Need help finding the next object of your obsession? Check out my site at www.StatusMakeover.com for coaching programs and writing that can help you find and keep some lovin!